Dinner & A Movie
by Beth Is Here
Summary: Bella and Edward have a date. SHORT STORY TO MAKE YOU LAUGH! All Human, Rated M for language.


**A/N I'm in the mood for some giggles. Let's hope you are too! I don't own these characters, SMeyer does, but I get to play with them when the mood strikes me… **

**So this isn't my normal way of writing, but I hope you enjoy it just the same. This is going to be an online conversation between Bella and Alice. Bella is going to be "2leftfeet" and Alice is going to be "ICU". This is pretty short, but it was fun when my friends and I came up with it, so I hope you enjoy it. Oh yeah, SHOUTOUT TO MOVIE ENDING AND ASHLEY! I LOVE YOU CRAZY BITCHES!**

2leftfeet: You online Alice?

ICU: Yeah, what's up?

2leftfeet: I had my date with Edward tonight. It was… interesting.

ICU: Details please! Did you have fun? Interesting sounds…interesting…

ICU: BELLA! U THERE???

2leftfeet: Yeah, sorry, Charlie wanted to know how it went tonight.

ICU: I got worried. Thought you forgot about me.

2leftfeet: Like I could forget about you Alice, you're my best friend.

ICU: STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH BITCH! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED… please?

2leftfeet: OK! since you asked so nicely…

ICU: *evil glare*

2leftfeet: *rolls eyes* He picked me up at six thirty. He said he wanted to eat dinner and go see a movie.

ICU: Ok, so where did you eat?

2leftfeet: I'm getting there ALICE! We ate at that cheap Chinese place down the street from Target.

ICU: Ugh, FOOD POISIONING!

2leftfeet: I know right? It was so gross.

ICU: Ok, so the food was nasty, what movie did you guys see?

2leftfeet: Live spelled backwards is Evil

ICU: um… weird.

2leftfeet: I know… it was very interesting.

ICU: I doubt that…

2leftfeet: We ordered a bucket of popcorn and a couple of drinks. We sat in the back row. The theater was kinda empty, so I thought it would be cool, even it the movie was crap.

ICU: DID YOU GUYS MAKE OUT???

2leftfeet: *ignoring the question* So we were sitting there watching the movie, and I reached into the popcorn. Edward told the guy at the counter to put extra butter on it, so I was eating the hell out of it.

ICU: PIG! LOL, I like buttery popcorn too.

2leftfeet: So I reached into the bucket for my popcorn, and I felt something… odd…

ICU: GASP! Was it a bug? Gross!

2leftfeet: No, it was Edward's DICK!

ICU: Um… why?

2leftfeet: It was covered in butter!

ICU: Please tell me you slapped him…

2leftfeet: No, I actually snatched the bucket off of his lap.

ICU: I hope you threw that popcorn away!

2leftfeet: And I licked all the butter off his cock.

ICU: WTF?

2leftfeet: It was awesome.

ICU: OMG Bella, I hope you are kidding… This is so not like you…

2leftfeet: I'm not kidding! I really did it!

ICU: You sucked him off? In the movie theater? Jesus Bella!

2leftfeet: Well, almost off, he didn't finish.

ICU: Poor Edward, he probably has blue balls now…

2leftfeet: Well, after the movie, we went to Target.

ICU: So you decided you needed to go shopping after you sucked his dick in the movies???

2leftfeet: Well, I said we went to target, I didn't say we went in.

ICU: BELLA!!! Don't tell me you gave him a bj in the parking lot!

2leftfeet: OF COURSE NOT!!! GAH!

ICU: Good, I'm glad.

2leftfeet: I fucked him in the back of his van.

ICU: *spits coke on computer screen* VAN??? Like the one his band uses?

2leftfeet: Yep. You know the one. It has the felt posters in it, and all the room in the back? It was quite roomy in there. He emptied out all the instruments. Well, I say all.

ICU: ?

2leftfeet: What, you haven't seen American Pie?

ICU: *faints*

2leftfeet: It wasn't a flute, and it wasn't in my cooter. It was a drumstick. And well, you know were he put that…

ICU: I think I'm gonna be sick…

2leftfeet: Oh come on Alice, he gave me the best orgasm of my life!

ICU: I'm trying to be happy for you Bella. I really am.

2leftfeet: Well, I am very happy! It was a fun night!

ICU: I'm really trying not to picture you and Edward shaking the van in Target parking lot.

2leftfeet: Well, he is going to have to put new shocks on it next week. We kind of wore those out.

ICU: OH MY GOD BELLA!!!

2leftfeet: Don't OMG me Alice; YOU wanted me to go out with him!

ICU:I DON'T RECALL TELLING YOU TO FUCK HIM BELLA!

2leftfeet: Well what's so bad about me screwing Edward Cullen then Alice? He is pretty sexy.

ICU: Well, I just found out from Jasper earlier…

2leftfeet: What?

ICU: Edward has crabs.

2leftfeet: *looks down to crotch* Well Shit.

**Ok, so it was really short, but it was SO fun to write, and I had a blast when we came up with the idea. Please review, and let me know if you like silly short stories, cause I'd be happy to keep em coming! **


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